Balance

Life is about balancing several aspects all at once. More than likely there are areas of life that take precedence over others. For me, it's work. I find value in working, enjoy completing tasks, and because of the nature of my job I enjoy helping others. But it has often been said that too much of anything can be unhealthy. I am a self proclaimed work-aholic and can easily fall into a routine where I am mostly focused on working, finding more work and figuring out do I need to work even more. My philosophy has been, "If I don't have anything else to do I might as well work." But I am learning that work shouldn't be my number one priority.

This summer I allowed myself to spend a lot of time doing...nothing. I know it sounds a bit lazy, but I knew that it was necessary to take a break from bogging myself down with work and busyness. I sat, I read, I sat, I slept, I spent time with friends, I spent time alone, I prayed, I read some more...There were times that I felt so bored that I thought I might go crazy because I felt so unproductive but now as summer is coming to a close I am so glad that I allowed my mind and body to rest. I needed it more than I realized.

I am slowly figuring out how to prioritize what really matters in life. I am trying to reprogram my brain to understand that cultivating relationships is just as important, if not more, than working and that the healthy relationships that I build and maintain now are what will matter most when I look back over my life. My biggest "problem" in this area is that any type of relationship takes a lot of work, they don't come with a manual, a set formula or list of rules. Each relationship is unique and it takes work and time to create healthy connections with others and the uncertainty of all of that stresses me out. Work is much easier to figure out and execute...but lasting, healthy relationships with others is far more rewarding. I am also realizing that I have dreams and desires outside of my career and it is OK to work towards those as well. It is OK to fail, it is OK to make mistakes, and is most definitely OK to say no...yes, even to another career opportunity. My biggest revelation is that I don't want to be defined by my job or what I do, but who I am.

So, my biggest prayer is that I learn to continue to put life into perspective. To understand that my life doesn't have to be dominated by one aspect but that it can be spread out over several if I make the effort do so. It may take some rearranging and I know that it will be difficult but it will be worth it.