Fourteen

Fourteen. The average size of the American woman.  But, it's not always the "American" size of beauty...

You may be wondering why I am talking about the average size of the American woman. Lately I have been thinking about beauty and how it is defined in our society...our American society. I watch a lot of realty T.V (I know, I know, it's my guilty pleasure!!!) and see women struggle and fight to obtain this mold that they think is acceptable to our America...and sometimes it really bugs me. 

What is the universal, if you will, perception of beauty in America? Is it long hair or short, straight or kinky, pleasantly plump or thin and waif-like, curvy or athletic, tall or short, dark or light...If we all take an honest look at what we view beauty to be I am most certain that we will choose one or the other out of the list above. Some choices would be chosen more often than others...of course. I would also venture to say that whether we admit it or not, we all have an idea of what we think beauty really is, and these ideas have often come from our culture, our friends, families and even expectations that have been placed on us by those that are close to us. I know that you might me thinking, beauty is only skin deep, right? If only we accepted that as our own truth, the struggle of beauty and feeling beautiful wouldn't haunt women like it does. I wish that were our universal perception of beauty; perhaps if it were, we as women would be saved a lot of heartache and stress that we endure regarding our appearances.

As a black woman, beauty can often be a controversial issue in our culture...particularly when it comes to hair...hair texture and length. Even though these issues aren't blasted across the media and quite often people "outside" of the "loop" are unaware, they do exist. I would say that some black women struggle with their perception of beauty because for many years straight, long hair was (and often still is) perceived as better, more attractive, more desirable (and I will say that there is NOTHING wrong with straight, long hair, it is beautiful). But who says that is truth? Society? Should society determine how we feel about the characteristics that God himself has given us? Embracing your natural hair texture (particularly as a black woman) is an issue that can be tricky and challenging, especially if you have grown up believing or subscribing to a certain "idea" of beautiful hair...changing that idea isn't always easy, at least that has been my experience...and I can only speak from my personal experiences. I guess women of other races may have hair issues as well...I just don't know about them first hand. 

I believe that most women struggle with body image. Am I too skinny? Am I too fat? Is my butt too big? I wish my legs were longer. I wish I didn't have fat angles. I wish I didn't have a flat chest. Did you notice my back fat? My arms are so chunky! My knees are fat.  I can't seem to get rid of my stomach pooch. I wish my thighs didn't jiggle. I could go on an on...and as a woman I'm sure I've said or asked many of these things before. It seems that it's much easier to find our faults than embrace the things that we like about ourselves (if we allow ourselves to even realize what we do like things about ourselves).

I could on to list ways that women struggle with the size of their noses, ears, and lips, the shape of their eyes, the color of their eyes, the shape of their eyebrows, cheekbones, skin tone, and whatever else we find to point out about ourselves in a negative way....but I will spare you. 

So, I guess my question really is, what is YOUR beauty? How are YOU beautiful? Not compared to anyone, but what do YOU love about YOU? God has made us uniquely different for a purpose. Not to conform to someone else's perception but to embrace and create our own idea of pretty, gorgeous, beauty, whatever. How boring, boring, boring would it be if we all looked alike, the same size and shape, same hair, skin tone, UGH! So I guess I challenge you (and myself) to find your beauty...Because whether any of us ever admit it or not there is something absolutely gorgeous about us all...sometimes it just takes some time and growth to realize those things for ourselves.