The Past Couple of Weeks...

I have had a tough couple of weeks...Usually when it rains it pours; stressors from various areas in our lives often pile up all at once and we have to figure out how to maintain our sanity while getting through those times. I am learning to take each day moment by moment, because after all, that's all we're promised anyway, one moment at a time. I have had to rely on God for wisdom and strength to help me take my trials as they come and learn from them. This week I am going to focus and meditate on the two scripture passages listed below...They inspire me to keep my eyes focused on the one who created me and the one who is the lover of my soul. Maybe they will inspire or encourage you as well. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Hebrews 12:1-4

¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. ³ Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. ⁴ After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

Romans 8:35-39

³⁵ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. ³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The Ability to Love...

Naturally, I am a private person. I love connecting with people but normally keep most at arms length, more than likely, due to my guarded nature. I learned very early in life that guarding your heart was an important tool for survival in this crazy world. Now, operating in this manner can be both good and bad. I mean, if you never get too close to anyone then, you never get hurt...your heart is protected and you can stay in a relatively safe place. But on the flip side of that, if you never connect and become vulnerable with anyone, you never experience true love in any type of relationship.

Some would say that allowing yourself to love and become vulnerable is worth the risk of heartache, others may disagree. I guess I am somewhere in the middle. I think loving the right people is definitely worth risking heartache. Because that heartache eventually goes away and either you continue the relationship with that awesome person, or you learn something super valuable and are able to move on with a better understanding of love and relationships.

I often think about God's love for us and the way that he is gentle and patient in dealing with humanity. How he has this supernatural way of sticking by us through our peaks and valleys. I would venture to say that God delights in our kindness, our ability to love others, our compassion, our humility, our obedience...but often we don't display a loving, kind, compassionate heart towards others and sometimes not even towards God. And in doing that, I think that might disappoint or hurt him. But he is the ultimate forgiver. And he is able to look beyond mistakes, flaws, envy, and hatred and love us beyond measure.

It takes effort and work to love. Life has taught me that love isn't always a feeling. It's not always pleasant, or exciting, or easy. It is a choice. A choice to look at someone and want the best for them, even when they hurt you, to want the best for them even when they aren't loving you back. I would never deny the fact that love can be a feeling...especially when starting new relationships and friendships, but I know that true love is having the ability or choosing to stay when the feelings have lessened and life gets tough.

As I have gotten older I have allowed myself to slowly connect to others in more intimate ways. My friendships and relationships have definitely had more meaning as I have allowed myself to be totally open and honest with my loved ones. It has most certainly made me feel "naked", if you will, but I think the people in our lives that mean the most to us deserve to know our true authentic selves. This openness has brought about an immense amount of joy, contentment, and some wonderful relationships. With this vulnerability has also come some heartache and stretching and growing...growing pains. I guess I would call them growing pains. But I have become better at loving and receiving love which has been an amazing gift.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails.

Love and God...quotes

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

~ C.S. Lewis

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”

Stanley Lindquist

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.

~Pietro Aretino

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

C.S. Lewis “Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.” l C.S. Lewis “I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.” Albert Einstein

People are People...Life is a Journey

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Evaluating and re-evaluating life, choices, relationships, and my relationship with God. My life is nothing like I expected it to be at 30. I didn't have a strict timeline but I imagined life a bit differently than it has turned out to be. I have been faced with many challenges, so many blessings, and a lot of things that I'm still not quite sure I understand. Through all of this, I have learned about the heart of God and people in general. I have learned that when you strip everyone down, and take an honest look at who they really are, you will find that...we all have insecurities, a story, passions, strengths, weaknesses, and so on. Someone once told me that I always say, people are people and life is a journey, but it is true. With that you can either take the people that are placed in your life and each step on your journey and learn from those people and those experiences...or you can chose to push people away and look at the negative side of every situation.

I am a firm believer that there are no coincidences...God allows people to cross paths for reasons that are often unknown...but sometimes those reasons are extremely obvious. I am convinced that there is something to learn from everyone you meet. No matter how long or short the encounter, there is something that can be taken away from all situations and relationships. Often people are placed in our lives to capture a different point of view, to experience love and acceptance, to appreciate cultural or racial differences and I'm realizing that often God places people in our lives so that we are able to recognize that people are just that, people. We all feel, hope, love, hate, laugh, cry, judge...

There is something to be said about being intentional in all your relationships and encounters. There is some nugget of wisdom tucked away in each of them. Our jobs are to find those nuggets and use them to make us stronger, wiser, more compassionate, more loving, more accepting...better. God doesn't make mistakes. He isn't random or unconcerned with the smallest details of our lives. If we are able to find the purpose and reason for each relationship, each person placed in our lives, no matter how positive or negative, I am sure that we can learn more about ourselves...and hopefully we can learn to appreciate humanity no matter our similarities or differences. So I am challenging myself to not only be more intentional in all my relationships, but I am also challenging myself to allow God to show me the beauty in each and every experience...because in the end, all of God's plans end up beautiful...that's something to smile about :-).

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

1 Peter 3:8-9

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

My Thoughts...

I haven't been motivated to blog lately. I am the type of person that needs to feel motivated and inspired to write. It's not that my life has lacked inspiration lately, I just don't know how to squeeze it into a blog...

So maybe this will be a blog of random thoughts or maybe not so random...whatever, just my thoughts, things that have been running through my mind lately; written in no particular order; and please don't expect any cohesiveness, my mind isn't cohesive these days...its all over the place.

So here we go....

1) God is funny.

2) Teenagers are weird, but I think I'm learning to like them.

3) There is something absolutely beautiful about the innocence of a child.

4) Children are beautiful....well most of them anyway :-)

5) Love doesn't mean just one thing...or 10 things...its like 100 or 1000 things and not the same 100 or 1000 things for each person; love is complex

6) My opinions about lots of things change from day to day...

7) I'm indecisive

8) I have learned more about the love of Christ in the past 3 months than I have in the last 3 years.

9) I really like chai tea lattes...iced or hot, man they're yummy!

10) If you are really honest...your words reflect your heart.

11) People are made for people.

12) People are made to love people.

13) The person that you think is totally opposite from you probably has more in common with you than you think.

14) I like dark chocolate.

15) I like goat cheese.

16) I am super sensitive, super emotional, and super sappy.

17) I like to laugh when I'm alone.

18) God likes me...he made me...he knows that I am stronger (with his help of course) than I think I am.

19) I like unexpected notes, comments, and smiles.

20) Happiness is evident without any words spoken.

21) Sometimes a smile from a random person can make your day.

22) I like when the sales asssociates and cashiers at Target ask if I'm having a good day :-).

23) You never know the impact you're having on someone's life. It may be a person that you see everyday or not. It may be the person that delivers your mail, prepares your Starbucks (or Caribou) order, or the person that rides to the same floor with you in the elevator every morning. Offer a smile or a kind glance tomorrow or today :-)...you never know who's day you're gonna make.

That's all for now....maybe a cohesive blog will follow soon...maybe not. :-)

Life's Lessons

God has a funny and creative way of teaching us about himself and ourselves through life. Through the people he places in our lives, our experiences, "coincidences"... everything. If you look closely enough at life's mistakes, hiccups, situations gone wrong or right you can find out a little truth about who you are as a person.

The longer I live, I learn that life is unpredictable. No matter how predictable you plan for it to be, bumps and curves come along the way to help make you into a better person. I have learned through my short life that trials, challenges, broken hearts, crushed spirits, disappointments, wins, losses, and on and on not only make you stronger and wiser, but help you to put God into perspective. Oh how I sometimes secretly wish that God could see things my way, because in my crazy, little mind, I feel like if he could see it my way, then things would work out just fine. But God's perspective, I am learning, is far more beautiful than mine. Because in those things that I find unbearable, ugly, disgusting, or painful, he sees hope, beauty, and humanity. In those situations that I find utterly pointless or wastes of time he teaches me small lessons about patience, love, and tolerance. Even in those people, that, dare I say, are irritating, annoying, and down right rude, he teaches me grace...If you look closely enough, God can show you the way He sees a person or situation...even if it takes a while.

Gosh, this journey called life is a crazy one. I am learning that the way God orchestrates things aren't always neat and pretty, but in the end there is this big, fat lesson waiting for you. I just hope that I can continue to keep my eyes open and aware of what God is trying to show me through the people and experiences that he is placing in my path. I trust that He knows what's best for me...even when I don't quite understand his plans. It's making me a better, stronger person...whether I realize or not at the time.

C.S. Lewis Quotes...

“What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what kind of a person you are”

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.” “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” “We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be”

Opening God's Box

I have worked with children for a large part of my adult life...really, all of my adult life I have worked in some capacity with children. While working with children I have learned that if you set high expectations for them they will be more successful; and if you set low expectations they will, more often than not, perform lower than their capabilities...common sense really...well, one would think...

As I am growing and learning about life, and about God I am realizing that quite often my expectations of God are rather low (And just let me say that I am soooo glad that he doesn't perform to my expectations =-) ). I might even venture to say...pathetic. I have God in a box. I'll admit it. The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem, right? There are some things that I just don't think God is capable of doing...Ooo! That sounds horrible, but it is true. I mean, if you asked me, can God do anything? I would say, well, most certainly He can! But in my reality, in my world, in my life, I often, by default don't live that, I don't bring the "small" and some of the "big" things to God. I'm guessing because deep down, I figure : 1) I can handle it myself or 2) God is not going to believe what I am asking is important enough to consider or address. It's really a horribly pessimistic way of looking at the God of the universe. It is also quite insulting to Him, I would assume, because, after all, he did create the world and humans...and well everything else. So why in the world would my concerns, problems and desires be too big or too small for him to consider, handle and resolve?

I believe as humans we don't and probably can't wrap our brains around God's greatness. And it's easier to put him in a "box" that makes sense to us. Like, yes God does this and answers these kinds of prayers, but not these...and so on. Or maybe it's just me, I don't know. I tend to like order and logic. I like things to make sense...buuut, sometimes God doesn't make sense. Quite often, he doesn't handle things the way we would, or answer prayers the way we would like or expect...it's difficult to see the world, and problems, and hurt, and all of that from his perspective. But I'm learning, that if I could just open God's box up and let him out and communicate to him authentically, not only praying about the things that I think he cares about, but laying everything out as a request and just a cry from my heart...then maybe, just maybe, He will show me (as he has so many times before) that He can (and will) truly do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ever hope or imagine. I am challenging myself to expect that from the God that I serve...to not place limitations or logic on what He can do...but to expect Him to be exactly what He is...and that's super, duper awesome and powerful!!!!

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Luke 18:27

"What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Luke 1:37

For nothing is impossible with God.

Your last Tomorrow...my take :-)

At church we have been focusing on a series called, "Your Last Tomorrow" (www.mosaicchurch.tv, check it out). Today our pastor spoke about owning and believing lies about various aspects of our lives, our relationships with others, our relationship with God, and our relationship with ourselves. I will say it was quite eye-opening. He used John 8:1-11 as his text. The story is about a woman who has been caught in adultery by the Pharisees, and brought to Jesus to be judged. As Naeem (our pastor) began dissecting the passage, he divided the people from the passage into three groups: the crowd, the adulteress, and the accusers (I believe that is correct). The crowd represented the passive group of onlookers who would rather not have gotten in involved in the whole "blaming and punishing the adulteress ordeal"...those of us who sit back while people are treated unjustly or unfairly for the sake of convenience and not wanting to be "involved." The adulteress represented those who feel unworthy, carry around guilt and shame and have a difficult time accepting the awesome people they are in Christ. The last group, the accusers represent those who are prideful, maybe even those who feel like they are better than (in comparison to others) and so forth.

Being the introspective type (as many of you may have noticed), I realized how easily it is to believe and live a lie even if it's small and minute. Quite honestly, I could see parts of myself in each group represented in the story today. It's easy to see yourself for who you want to be versus who you really are. It's often difficult to allow God to reveal to you your true self. Because, I believe that most of us want to believe that we are "good people." People who are morally appropriate, just, honest, and pretty much try to do the right thing, whether we're believers in Christ or not. I know I do. Naeem also mentioned that we're all on the same "level" if you will, when it comes to godliness, because no one needs God any less than anyone else, despite the level of the their spiritual maturity...I never thought of godliness in that way. I mean, in my mind there were (and probably still are) people who I just think are far closer to God than I am...that perspective may take some adjusting for me...

I have definitely taken so much away from this series already. I'm learning more and more about the nature of God. It's tough for me sometimes to see Christ in a way that is beyond my human reasoning. His grace, compassion, and forgiveness, far exceed my understanding. His love far exceeds anything that I could conjure up in my mind. Because, unlike humans (thank God!), He has this supernatural ability to love, forgive and pursue those who don't even care about him... those who wouldn't even give him a second thought...He has this ability, that I don't understand, to try and try and give and give, and love and love without acknowledgment in return. He is love. I am learning more and more that no matter how much I love him...I could never love Him the way he loves me. And what's so super duper cool is that He continues to teach you and grow you as you seek Him. It is really true, the scripture that says that if we seek Him with all of our hearts we will find Him. I am convinced that if we really want to know if he's real and is truth, He'll show that to us in the way that we need to be shown. His heart's desire is just that we love Him and allow Him to love us back...and make us the awesome people He created us to be. How exciting is that! What a journey He can take us all on...YAY!

I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of the series. I'm certain that I will continue to learn more about myself and God...

People are People...

You know, something that disturbs me a bit is that Christians, particularly in America, are often perceived as hypocritical, judgmental, close-minded people, who have a difficult time respecting and appreciating other points of view and perspectives. I guess it disturbs me because, well, Christians are people. People who may be hypocritical, judgmental or even close-minded. Now, are these the best qualities to portray, especially when representing Christ, well, heck no! Christianity is a complex faith, filled with lots of history, interpretation and controversy. And when people who are so far from perfect, enter into this commitment to Christ, a lot of the times they are trying their best to figure it out, live it and make sense of it all. Sometimes, passion can be mistaken for close-mindedness....maybe even confused as an unwillingness to consider a different perspective.

I am learning that for one who doesn't believe or understand a passion for Christ, committing your everything to Him may seem foreign and a bit strange. As I said before, people are just people. Finding balance in a complex faith can be difficult. I am in no way condoning or supporting people who justify being blatantly rude, disrespectful, deceitful, discriminatory, or unloving towards to others in the name of Christ. I don't believe and will never believe that Christ honors this type of behavior in any form or fashion. What I am saying is that, I would hope with all of my heart, that those of us who love Christ and want to please Him and want Him to live through us, truly do want people to understand the love of Christ. Not condemn people for their mistakes, or define people by their past, or push them away because their different, or place judgement on others for decisions that they've made during crazy circumstances that we'll never understand. God is pleased and delighted when those of us who have chosen to follow Him, try with all that we are (and of course with God's help) to see beyond people's faults, and mistakes, and past, and lack of knowledge and view people through eye's of grace. Being loving to those who have never been loved, being listeners to those who are hopeless, and being the hands and feet of Christ in our communities. It is so easy to surround ourselves with those who agree with everything we say, look like we do, speak like we do and on and on...our comfortable bubbles. Those are important for support, friendship and accountability...These relationships are vital, please understand that. But if we as Christ-followers isolate ourselves and only communicate with those who agree with us...well we aren't spreading the love and truth of Christ. And really that's the whole point of living a life committed to Jesus.

Man, on man is it tough to talk about faith...it's tough to be confrontational about topics that are so sticky and sensitive in our society. But I am convinced that if we are able to reach out to others in acts of love and not condemnation, God will be able to use us mightily. People really are just people. God created each one of us uniquely with a desire to be in communication with other people and with a desire to be in communication with him. God loves all of us so much...what an honor it is to share that love with others. I hope that one day...I am able to truly represent Christ in a loving, caring, truthful way. It takes time and messing up and learning again. With God's help, I know that he will continue to guide me in this area...

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 John 4:20

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.